Nelly For Everything!

and OMG did you hear there is an election?

HELLO FRIENDS!

Think of this newsletter like Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping” — a hopefully delightful surprise when it appears every once in a while — but let’s be honest, if it showed up every day it would be very annoying!

Some stuff I have recently enjoyed:

-This Slovakian woman on Great British Bakeoff is my favorite person in humanity. She is clearly an Amy Schumer character and I would give her my firstborn child. Nelly needs a spinoff and she needs it now. She can make jam! Call it “Nelly’s Jellies”! A chain of stores selling sliced meats: “Nelly’s Delis.” GIVE HER A PIG FARM AND CALL IT “NELLY’S POTBELLIES.”

Netflix, I am giving you a goldmine here.

-This happened to me at the dentist and I haven’t stopped telling people about it for a month:

-Helen Mirren’s very pure thoughts on Kurt Cobain

See, we can still have fun! Even though there is an election in two days and my stomach appears to have acquired a trampoline.

This election is absurdly, alarmingly, terrifyingly close. And while I hate a close election, what it means is that literally everything we do counts. All our work matters. So with the stakes as high as they are, I don’t think I’d forgive myself if I didn’t talk about it in this email.

I’m so open with my politics that literally everyone who has ever met me knows I’m (ridiculously excited to be) voting for Kamala Harris.

I think we’re lucky to have her as a candidate — a clear-headed, rational, smart, actual human being with decades of experience as State Attorney General, Senator, and of course, Vice President of the United States.

I got to write an article in the Daily Beast about how I chose my vote and you can read that if you want But if you’re still undecided or thinking about not voting and you want to chat about it, feel free to respond to this email! I won’t be a jerk and I’ll tell you what I know.

In addition to just how genuinely excited I am about Kamala Harris, here are some things I am thinking about as I cast my vote:

-HEALTHCARE: Both Donald Trump and the current Speaker of the House have stated that they want to get rid of the Affordable Care Act. To be clear about what that means — it means repealing the legislation that banned insurance companies from refusing you care because of pre-existing conditions. So when Trump repeals it — if you have asthma, or diabetes, or depression, or any one of a zillion other conditions — you can be refused health insurance. It’s so important to me that we do everything we can to make sure that doesn’t happen.

-ABORTION: I don’t know how else to say this — women are dying because of Donald Trump’s abortion ban. A pregnant woman in Texas died because went she to the emergency room three times and was refused healthcare. This is a story that is happening over and over. If Trump is reelected, he will likely appoint at least two more Supreme Court Justices and do everything in his power to enact a nationwide abortion ban.

-VACCINES: Trump has said he’s going to put RKF Jr. in charge of healthcare. RFK Jr. has been anti-vaccine for decades and has made it clear that he wants to get rid of them. Now we’re not just talking Covid vaccines — we’re talking the ones that are the reasons we don’t hear about kids dying of the measles and polio anymore. And last week, Trump’s transition chair blurted out a plan to end vaccination entirely.

-HIS STAFF: I’m alarmed by the comments from the people who know Donald Trump the best — his own staff.

So these are some of my logical reasons for supporting Kamala Harris. But now, a personal plea.

For those of you who are torn, if I can ask something you — please vote with someone you love in mind. Vote for a woman who is pregnant and needs someone to fight so she can have lifesaving care. Vote for a friend with diabetes who will lose healthcare if they repeal the Affordable Care Act.

Vote for Kamala Harris.

I think you all are the best,

Jill “The Caustic Jack-O-Lantern” Twiss